The Question.
The last Tuesday in english class (which for a plot twist situation now is my favorite class) the teacher talked about the value things, and asked us what was the most value thing in our life and someone said that her passion was the most important in her life, so the teacher ask her what was her passion, she said "road cycling", then he ask to everybody what was our passion, someone said music, other said the fashion design, i couldn't understand what said the others girls but they did't hesitate about what they love do, and in a fact they are very good in that stuff, i know that.
But me?
tose!!, claudia finge que tienes tos, estornuda o finge que tienes que ir al baño "ashuu", no eso no va a funcionar, okay finge que estas en el celular, no ya sé que no tienes un mensaje desde hace horas pero finge claudia....
"Claudia what is your passion?"
"mmhhh idk"
"you don't know your passion?
"mhhhhhhhhh..........."
two thousand awkwards microseconds later...
"Claudia What you enjoy to do?"
Te dije que corrieras, pero aquí te quedaste...
todos me están mirando... DONT JUDGE ME I HAVE ANXIETY.
"nothing"
"Claudia you don't enjoy to do something?"
"mhhhh"
Por favor, empecemos con la clase,pregunté algo más, dejen de verme...
"Something you like to do, and you think you cant live without that"
"Sleep"
"Okay, Claudia, but i dont think that sleeping is a real passion"
Pues yo sé pero no hay nada que recuerde que me haga sentir bien, o que sea bueno en algo, imn sé dibujar y me va bien en la escuela pero no es mi pasión sabe? hace años que no sé que está pasando en mi vida y viene y me quiere sacar a fuerzas - porque es obvio que pudo terminar con esta tortura hace como 5 minutos- una pasión que no sé, igual le hubiera podido mentir y decir " my passion is play piano, i played since i was three years old or i love dance i Am the best hip hop dancer like Chachi Gonzalez" Estaría mintiendo, y sé qué en la clase se podría mentir porque solo era un ejercicio puto oral, ¿Y QUÉ ? NO QUIERO MENTIRLE, no quiero mentirme a mi misma.
-----TALK LESS, SMILE MORE.-----
"I KNOW." :)
"You hw will be to think about that, you don't have to tell me, Claudia only think about that, it's important to you".
Finge que no te estas muriendo por dentro, ":D" *sonrisa*.
-----
Three days after.
The answer.
So, Teacher, i have been thinking in that, and maybe it's not a real passion too, but
I always been dreaming, thinking in things that will never going to happen, watching a lot of video vloggers do things that i will never going to do, reading about characters that grow up to be a hero and a scholar, Singing about a change, about a revolution, about LOVE. Planning and making to do list that i will never do. Starting coloring books that i will never end.
Always saying "maybe this would be a perfect photo", but i never take it.
Listening stories, audiobooks, creepy pastas, a lot of fairy tales.
Writring things like a poet, writting bad english, escribiendo mal en español.
Its my passion and maybe for you its not a real feeling but for me, its the best thing that i do in my life, i do all these things alone, but i don't feel sad, i like the people, but the dreamers like me, enjoy these things, Enjoy imagining and creating things, scenarios and dialogues that will never happen.
And a real dreamer, watch a lot of series, cartoons and MOVIES. I REALLY LOVE TO WATCH MOVIES AND SERIES.
I know this doesn't matter to you, I know, I didn´t have to write it, I just had to think about it, And i know you'll never read it, but here I put some scenes that makes beat my heart and feel alive.
Cinema is magic. The writters are amazing and i want to be amazing.
(Lista incompleta, como todo buen soñador casado con la procrastinación.)
