Sometimes when i thought in the future, maybe like everyone in this world, i saw my life like a movie, and wasted a lot of time thinking in the perfect soundtrack, dialogues and the perfect end.
My fantasy is broken since three or two years ago. Use the word fantasy is wrong, i must to say MY SOUL IS BROKEN.
When i started to studying in the university in the second week i perfectly knew thats not be like in the movies, i will never move on away from my country, even go out from my dad and mom.
I knew it would be a deja vu,like when i studied in the middle school but this lasts five years and cost more than two hundred thousand pesos. I lost myself.
But i liked to dream.
For two and half years i saw the school like a hell, work, work and homework,i fight to have one of the best score, and all this time i only woke up just because i were to do.
Now i dont have a favorite song which makes me woke up, the poems of Jaime Sabines sounds me very sad, and movies makes me cry ever more.
The past bored me, was generic, not let me talk about the new me, not let me grow up, always was in competition and constant "this is no longer worth".
I can't write something about my past because I dont have a Jack drowned in the Titanic, I have never entered a cemetery of forgotten books and I've never known anything that is worth telling.
Empeze hablando del futuro porque me gustaria contar algo nuevo, siempre escribo de lo triste que estoy, de lo aburrida que es mi vida y de lo tonta que soy.
I started talking about the future because I would like to say something new, always write how sad I am, how boring my life and how silly I am.
The other day I met a boy, he was the only one who worked in carpentry and he studying architecture, I like who can do that kind of stuff and I like to watch him work. he does not know me and will not, I'm too ugly to dare to speak.
Anyway, the other day he sang in a bar and makes me wanted to go to a bar.
Today I saw him talking to a girl and this not makes me sad, a broken soul no longer feel anything, just dreaming with the perfect soundtrack, the dialogues perfect and the perfect ending.
Mentí si estoy bien triste.
